Bags or Baggage?

Here I sit. At gate C24 at the Toronto Airport. When I walked up to the WestJet check in desk, the lady asked how many bags I would like to check. I told her none. She looked at me, slightly surprised, then glanced down at my weathered, beaten up little suitcase and asked me if I was sure I wanted to carry it all the way to Vancouver. I told her, yes. That’s right, I carry my baggage with me. 



This reminded me of something I’d seen on an online dating site a while back. (Ok, come on, don’t tell me that if you were single and in your mid-twenties that you wouldn’t sign up and give it a try!) Anyway, I was reading the profile of SinkNHook69. He was 29 years old, in “sales” and enjoyed cars, beers with friends, wakeboarding and hockey. He seemed pretty cool, especially with a profile name like SinkNHook69, so naturally I kept reading. Everything seemed normalish (what really is normal?!) until I got to the very end and it said in big uppercase letters:


"NO BAGGAGE PLEASE"

I instantly thought to myself…well, I definitely don’t have any baggage! I’m a solid chick. I’ve got a lot going for me...great job, great friends and family...totally cool and pretty funny too!  But as I moved along to the next prospect on the list, I started thinking about this word “baggage”. What did he mean by baggage? Did this refer to emotional baggage? Family baggage? Financial baggage? Ex-relationship baggage?



Whatever this baggage SinkNHook69 meant was, I figure that by the age of 20 everyone in this entire world carries some kind of baggage with them. Anyone who has ever had their feelings hurt, gotten into a fight with their brother, sister or parents, needed a friend, been in trouble, lost a loved one, been dumped, dumped someone, been misunderstood or not heard. Anyone and everyone has some baggage. 



Now I’m still sitting in the terminal. I’m looking around me at all the people with all their different bags. Of course, bags comes in all different shapes and sizes. Some people have really old suitcases, that are heavy and awkward to carry around but they would never consider getting rid of them. They have had them for so long, they don’t know any better and don’t even care to know what life would be like without that trusty old suitcase.

Some people are over-packers. They take everything with them, so they have many suitcases which makes getting around a real burden. You see these people hooking rolling suitcases together, creating a trains of baggage...one just latching on to the other... They also have their hands and shoulders weighed down with even more bags and are probably wearing a backpack. These people just don’t know how to leave things behind.



There are also people who prefer not to carry anything with them. They want people to think how carefree they are “Look at me, I’m not bringing anything at all!” But these people still have baggage, they just put it all into a big crate, nail it shut and try to forget about it. They can go anywhere in the world they wish, but when they least expect it or at the most inconvenient times, that big crate will show up.



There are also those people like me. Minimize the baggage, leave behind what isn’t necessary and try to travel light. It just makes life a little easier. And, if you have to carry something around you may as well make it cool and have a good story behind it. My trusty little neon green carry-on is not only loaded with stories but when people see it, they ask me about it.  They are curious to know what stories are behind it.



I’m not ashamed of any of my baggage. It has been with me and will continue to be with me throughout my life. Sometimes it changes, I may leave something behind in one place and find myself with new things in another place. I don’t go around rolling my baggage around everywhere, flaunting it for everyone to see, but I also don’t feel the need to hide it. 



What kind of baggage do you carry? 



Have you ever thought about making a conscious effort to travel lighter? I’m on the plane now. Time to turn off the computer. Everyone has politely stowed their baggage away for the next few hours… some overhead, some under the seats. And that’s where it will stay for the rest of the flight.

Endings and Beginnings

My grandfather and I always have had a close relationship.  I was always his little princess growing up.  People also said that we shared a quirky sense of humor.  I used to love going over to Grandpa and Grandma's for extended lunches, not only was it free but I could also nap on the couch after!
I consider myself very lucky to have had him in my life for this long, but that doesn't make saying goodbye any easier. Today I buried my grandpa.  Well, not just me alone.  I guess I didn't really bury him as much as I watched his casket get lowered into the cold, soggy St. Patty's Day ground.  As I placed a red carnation on Grandpa's casket I thought about my two sisters and my brother, happy and secure with their spouses.  I thought about their wedding day.  How happy and proud Grandpa had been seeing them starting a family of their own.  I thought about one of the last conversations that I had with my grandfather.  We sat hand in hand on his favorite couch in the den.  We were watching animal planet, and something with animal bloopers...(I hate animals).

Me - Grandpa, these shows are so funny.
Grandpa - Well, they are kind of stupid, but I can't hear the words from the other shows so well anymore and you don't need to listen to watch this.
Me - Oh. Well, they are still great. (No, they aren't. They suck. Why do lie?)
Grandpa - So, Jacci, you are moving to the Big City.  You are going to be a city girl, are you?
Me - Yah, I am so excited.  I love it in Toronto.
Grandpa - Just make sure you find a job close to your home... we all know your track record on the road.  It is safer for you not to drive...you shouldn't even own a car.
Me - uhhhhh..... yeah.  I guess you're right.
Grandpa - And make sure you are careful there.  We all know your track record of accidents even when you are not in a car...
Me - uhhhh....Yeah. Can't argue with that one.
Grandpa - Don't forget, you are getting older.  You need to settle down soon, find a good man...a good looking man...and get married.  You won't be young forever.
Me - *Gulp*
Grandpa - It's such a shame you couldn't find somebody to marry.  It was one of my last wishes to see you get married.  But that is definitely not going to happen now....
Me - *GULP*  No, Grandpa, that is definitely not going to happen.
Grandpa - Well, I guess that is that.  But, Princess, don't forget how much I love you and I'm proud of you no matter what.  And you are going to be a success.  You have it in your blood.

As I went in to hug my grandpa, I struggled to hold back my tears.  The second I stepped out of the den, I broke down.  Grandpa was right.  Animal shows are stupid. I am dangerous behind the wheel. I am an accident waiting to happen.  I wish he could see me get married one day (but that will never happen now).  Finally, I am a piece of him, and I will be sure to make him proud. I will make him proud through my actions, my work ethic, the way I love my family and the way I treat people.  Grandpa will be proud of me no matter what profession I chose or which city I live in or which car I drive (if I drive at all), as long as I do everything with the values and morals that he instilled to his children and grandchildren.

As we drove away from the burial site I turned around to see the casket abandoned in a cold, muddy hole and I knew that Grandpa was no longer living in that body, but in the hearts of his family.  And one day (God willing) I do get married, Grandpa will be there in my heart.

I'm not an animal hater. We just don't get along...

The U-Turn Queen of the World

I can't help that I often lose my way. I consider myself somewhat of a U-Turn Queen. I have always been this way. I've never made it to my parents cottage without at least two U-Turns...sometimes finding myself 45 minutes in the wrong direction. My family makes fun of me. My friends are accustomed to it. Just last summer, I found myself lost in my hometown on my way to baseball. (I've lived there all my life, I've been playing baseball at the same field for 5 years, and my church is on the same road!!) Yes, I admit that I am directionally challenged.  That's why when my dad presented me with a GPS a few months ago, I was thrilled. This meant I finally had something in my life to keep me on track.

So, of course, on my first road trip to visit a friend about three hours away I punched in the address and off I went. It was great at first, I didn't have to think about anything or worry about where I was heading. Just follow what the soft British voice was telling me and I'd get there, hopefully, U-Turn FREE! 

After hitting the highway, I put on my favorite tunes and cranked them right up. I got into my usual habit of singing way to loud to music that was even louder...it was so loud in fact, that I missed all the instructions for where I was supposed to be going. When I finally realized this, I turned down the music. All I could hear was that soft British voice, still in her calming manner, saying "Recalculating" over and over again. 

She wasn't saying "You messed up" or "Now you are way off track!" She was simply recalculating the new and revised directions.  Making a new plan.  This made me start thinking (which is normally what gets me lost in the first place) about how great it would be to have a GPS for my Life. The moment I made a mistake, all I would have to do is listen to what the new plan for my Life would be. What revised directions would get myself back on the right path to where I ultimately want to end up. I suppose that all of us, to some extent, have a GPS built into our beings; our conscience. In my experience it has told me when to call my mom and tell her I love her. It has told me when to apologize to a loved one. It has told me when to go for those big things in life I've been working for. It has told me when it is time to go home. So far, my inner GPS has told me when a relationship isn't right. I'm hoping that it will also tell me when one is. 

Everyone is born with this GPS built into their being. Some people (like serial killers, UFC fighters, and lawyers to name a few) chose to turn their GPS system off. Some people (like crack addicts, professional sports players *cough*TIGER*cough*, and large fuel companies) bury it so far into their subconscious that it disappears from their reality until it is finally uncovered. The majority of us just get so into the music, that we forget to listen to the directions it is telling us. It is easy to get so caught up in the moment, that you don't even hear everything that is going on around you.

My route was "Recalculated" and as I continued my journey (via the alternative route) to my final destination, I said "Thank you!" to the small black GPS systems calling out directions for me. I also took a few minutes to thank my inner GPS (Greatness Positioning System)...so far, as long as I'm listening, it won't lead me astray. I just have to remember to keep listening!

Altered Dreams

So here I am, out with my good friend. We’re sitting on a beautiful patio right in the heart of the city, sipping a refreshing sauvignon blanc and doing what we do best: analyzing our lives and even more particularity the non existence of a significant man in our lives. 

As the majority of our friends have settled down, married, are in serious relationships etc, I sit there and think ‘why are we any different? Did we subconsciously make this decision for ourselves?’ I think back to when when I was a child. I remember playing “wedding” with my sisters and friends, normally I would play the part of the groom or the minister, except of course the time I was 6 years old and was actually forced by my older sisters to married my beach buddy, Blaine. All of our parents and friends were there to celebrate with us. I wasn't opposed to this blessed union, but I also didn't give much thought to it. So, I suppose, I have never been afraid of marriage. But I cannot remember actually laying in bed and dreaming about how my wedding would look or what sort of dress I would wear. Does this mean I never cared enough to actually find a man with whom to create the dream? Does this mean that because I have never been able to visualize it that it will not come true? So I asked around to my friends, both married and not married, in relationships and single. My results were that the majority of them who had, in fact, dreamt of their weddings were now either married or in serious relationships. 

Hmmm, this is getting concerning. Did I doom myself at a young age to remain a spinster forever? Will I find fault in ever man who I come across just to stay true to my non-wedding dreams? Hold up! Lets take a step back for a minute. Lets say I had dreamt of weddings as a little girl. What would be the likelihood that I would now be married to my scrawny, inadequate high school boyfriend? Probably pretty high. If I had been on that fast track to marriage, the first one would have been locked and loaded. I would be living in a beat up old house in a small town in the middle of Who-Caresville on Going Nowhere Road. It would be comfortable and I would probably be content. Or would I? Instead, I chose not to fabricate wedding bell dreams and instead dreamed of the world and what it had to offer me. I focused on the people I would meet, the places I would see, and the incredible things I could do. Focus is an amazing thing. When your focus is set to a certain target, you will find that in no time at all you're hitting bulls eyes. The most important thing is that you are always aiming for something. If you find you are shooting with no focus you will end up hitting stray targets which you will probably regret. Generally, in these times without focus, life will veer off in the wrong direction and will spiral out of control before you can even realize it. 

So, here I sit, sipping my wine and talking about the same things we've talked about a million times. I know we will continue talking about these things a million more times, and I am more then ok with that.   And you know what?  I still don’t dream of wedding bells but I do have focus. I do have targets set up all around me. As long as I keep on aiming, I am bound to hit some of them sooner or later.

RULES TO LIVE BY: The Creed of the Sociopathic Obsessive Compulsive

1. If anything can go wrong, Fix it! (To hell with Murphy!)
2. When given a choice – Take Both!
3. Multiple projects lead to multiple successes.
4. Start at the top then work your way up.
5. Do it by the book…but be the author!
6. When forced to compromise, ask for more.
7. If you can’t beat them, join them, then beat them.
8. If it’s worth doing, it’s got to be done right now.
9. If you can’t win, change the rules.
10. If you can’t change the rules, then ignore them.
11. Perfection is not optional.
12. When faced without a challenge, make one.
13. “No” simply means begin again at one level higher.
14. Don’t walk when you can run.
15. Bureaucracy is a challenge to be conquered with a righteous attitude, a tolerance for stupidity, and a bulldozer when necessary.
16. When in doubt: THINK!
17. Patience is a virtue, but persistence to the point of success is a blessing.
18. The squeaky wheel gets replaced.
19. The faster you move, the slower time passes, the longer you live.